Mocking Bird

Album: Encore
Song: Mocking Bird

[ Intro ]

Yeah
I know sometimes things might not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What'chu crying about?
You got me..

[ Verse 1 ]

Hailie, I know you miss your mom
And I know you miss your dad when I’m gone
But I’m trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you’re sad
Even when you smile
Even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes
Deep inside, you wanna cry
Cuz you’re scared
I ain’t there?
Daddy’s with you in your prayers
No more crying
Wipe them tears
Daddy’s here
No more nightmares
We gonna pull together through it
We gon’ do it
Laini, uncle’s crazy ain’t he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We’re all we got in this world
When it spins
When it swirls
When it whirls
When it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Looking puzzled, in a daze
I know it’s confusing you
Daddy’s always on the move
Mama’s always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it
But somehow it seems, the harder that I try to do that
the more it backfires on me
All the things, growing up
As daddy that he had to see
Daddy don’t want you to see
But you see just as much as me (to see?)
That we did not plan it to be this way
You’re mother and me
But things have got so bad between us
I don’t see us ever being
Together ever again
Like we used to be when was teenagers
But then of coarse
Everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it’s just something
We have no control over
And that’s what destiny is
But no more worries
Rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we’ll wake up
And this will all just be a dream

[ Chorus ]

Now hush little baby don’t you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya, daddy’s here to hold ya
Through the night
I know mommy’s not here right now and we don’t know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise, Mama’s gonna be alright

[ Verse 2 ]

It’s funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christamas presents up
and stuck them under the tree
and said some of them were from me
Cos daddy couldn’t buy ‘em
I’ll never forget that Christmas
I sat up the whole night cryin’
Cuz daddy felt like a bum
See dadday had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broken into and robbed or shot up on the block
And your mom, was saving money
For you in a jar trying to start a piggy bank for you
So you can go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars
Till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your mama’s heart
And it seemed like everything was just starting to fall apart
Mom and dads was arguing a lot
So mama moved back on the Chalmers and the flat
One bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 mile on Novarra
And that’s when daddy went to California with his CD
And met Dr. Dre and flew you and Mama out to see me
But daddy had to work
You and mama had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the TV
And mama didn’t like it
And you and Laini were too young to understand it
Papa was a rolling stone
mama developed a habit
and it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I’m just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I’m sittin’ in this empty house, just reminiscin’
Looking at your baby pictures it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown
It’s almost like your sisters now
Wow, I guess you pretty much are
And daddy’s still here
Laini I’m talking to you too
Daddy’s still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It’s got a ring to it, don’t it?
Shhh, mama’s only gone for the moment

[ Chorus ]

Now hush little baby don’t you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya daddy’s here to hold ya
Through the night
I know mommy’s not here right now and we don’t know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy pretty baby
But I promise
Mama’s gonna be alright

[ Outro]

And if you ask me to,
Daddy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird
I’ma give you the world
I’ma buy a diamond ring for you
I’ma sing for you, I’ll do anything for you to see you smile
And if the mockingbird don’t sing and the ring don’t shine
I’ma break that birdy’s neck
I’ll go back to the Jeweler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every karat
Don’t fuck wit dad.
haha

Murder Murder

Artist: Eminem
Album: Slim Shady EP
Song: Murder Murder
Typed by: deephunk@aol.com

CHORUS
All I see is murder murder, my mind state - [2Pac]
Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate - [Swift]
All I see is murder murder, my mind state
Murder, murder, murder, and kill, kill, kill!
(2x)

Left the keys in the van, with a gat in each hand
Went up in Eastland and shot a policeman
Fuck a peace plan of citizen bystands
But shit is in my hands, here's your life span
For what your life's worth this money is twice than
Grab a couple grand and live a nice land
See I'm a nice man but money turned me to Satan
I'm thirsty for this green so bad I'm dehydratin'
Hurry up with the cash bitch, I got a ride waitin'
Shot a man twice in the back when he tried escapin'
I want the whole plot, I won't be denied nathan
Maybe I need my head inside straightened
Brain contemplatin', clean out the register
Dip before somebody catches ya
Or gets ya description an' sketches ya
The connection was the prime suspect
But I ain't set to flee the scene of the crime just yet
Cuz I got a daughter to feed
And $200 ain't enough to water the seed
The best thing would be for me to leave Taco Bell an' hit up Chess King
And have the lady at the desk bring
Money from the safe in the back, stepped in wavin' the Mac
Cooperate and we can operate and save an attack
This bitch tried escapin' the jack
Grabbed her by the throat, it's murder she wrote
You barely heard a word as she choked
It wasn't nuttin' for her to be smoked
But I slammed her on her back 'til her vertebrae broke
Just then the pigs bust in yellin' "Freeze!"
But I'm already wanted for sellin' keys
And bunch of other felonies from A to Z like spellin' bees
So before I dropped to the ground and fell on knees
I bust shots, they bust back
Hit the square in the chest, he wasn't wearin' a vest

CHORUS 2x

Left the house, pullin' out the drive backin' out
Need a backin' out this lady's Jag started blackin' out
Pulled the Mac-10 out, stuck it in her face
Shut ya yackin' mouth before I blow the brain from out the back ya scalp
Drug her by her hair, smacked her up
Thinkin' fuck it, mug her while you're there, jacked her up
Stole her car, made a profit
Grabbed the tape from out the deck and offed it out the window
Like the girl on Set It Off did
Jetted off kid, stole the whip, now I'm a criminal
Drove in thru somebody's yard, dove into they swimmin' pool
Climbed out and collapsed on the patio
I made it out alive but I'm injured badly though
Parents screamin': "Son, go in and call the police
Tell 'em there's a crazy man disturbing all of the peace!"
Tried to stall him at least long enough to let me leap up
Run in they crib and at least leave with some little cheap stuff
Actin' like they never seen nobody hit a nick before
Smashed the window, grabbed the Nintendo 64
When they sell out in stores the price triples
I ran up the block jumpin' kids on tricycles
And colliding with an 80-year old lady with groceries
There goes the cheese, eggs, milk and Post Toasties
Stood up and started to see stars
Too many siren sounds, it seemed like a thousand police cars
Barely escaped, must-a been some dumb luck
Jumped up and climbed the back of a movin' dump truck
But I think somebody seen me maybe
Plus I lost the damn Nintendo and I must-a dropped the Beanie Baby
Fuck it I give up, I'm surrounded in blue suits
Came out with a white flag hollerin' "TRUCE TRUCE!"
Surrendered my weapon to cops
Wasn't me! It was the gangsta rap and the peppermint Schnopps

CHORUS 2x

CHORUS scratches to fade out

No One's Iller Than Me

Artist: Eminem f/ Swift, Bizarre & Fuzz
Album: Slim Shady EP
Song: No One's Iller Than Me
Typed by: deephunk@aol.com

[Bizarre]
Yeah...ha ha ha (BANG!), Yeah, Bizarre Kid comin' at you
Eminem and Fuzz, and Mr. Swifty, ha ha

No one's iller than me (wha?)
No one, no one is iller than me
No one is iller than me
It's Mr. Swifty from the 313...

[Swift]
I make rappers wanna turn into singers
I keep hoes lickin' they fingers
Bring this competition and face this meanin'
Got your whole crew doing subpeonas
Hell nah you ain't seen a crew genius
Murder whoever's between us, pack your heaters
Keep it close, you can't beat us
While your whole crew treat us like G's, you best believe this
I done made quadrapalegics outta these non-rappin rejects
While the whole world ejects your tape, it ain't no secret
That your shit sounds fake, you can't stop it my mind state
Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate
I'm like Two-Face, I'm painful to rappers then you can tell
From these shells, how I gotta bend 'em like route canals
I erase all trails, somethin' farther from gettin' bail
Makes you wanna kill an emcee yourself, you might as well
Be within a 25 to life sentence, on linkin' trials
Horrified, and keep on frontin', repentin' and lose they bowels
Everything is foul when Swift's around, vacate now
Niggas dumb enough to try to front and escape, how?
I'm gonna take this 'gnac and drink it straight wild
Niggas steady fallin' in my face like milk crates, BLAAAOW!

It's Swifty from the 313
Like I said no one is iller than me, unnhh!

[Bizarre]
Me and Eminem and Mike
Drivin' down Van Dyke
Get my dick sucked late at night by a fuckin' transvestite
Still on probation for stranglin' my boy Jason
Should be takin' my medication, it's 9 to 10 I'm facin'
Last week this old man I had to blast
Cuz he tried to help me out when my car was out of gas
Ripped this old lady, hung her neck by a hook
Didn't realize it was my grandmother 'til I checked her pocketbook
Fuckin' with the white boys got me back on crack
Better explain where the hell your TVs and VCRs is at
I done lost 100 pounds, I ain't been eatin' like I should
This wounded dog in the street is sure lookin' good!
Rob this little boy in his fuckin' paper route
Throwin' bottles at day care centers and yell "EVERYBODY GET OUT"!
My girl beat my ass and shot me in the back with a 2-piece
Cuz she found out I was havin' an affair with her 10-year old niece

No one, no one's iller than me
It's Bizarre Kid straight from the 313
No one, no one is iller than me
It's Bizarre Kid straight from the 313

[Eminem]
Nobody better test me, cuz I don't wanna get messy
Especially when I step inside this bitch, dick freshly
New Lugz, give the crew hugs, guzzle two mugs
Before I do drugs that make me throw up like flu bugs
True thugs, rugged unshaven messy scrubs
Whippin' 40-bottles like the fuckin' Pepsi clubs
Down a fifth, crack open a six
I'm on my seventh 8-ball, now I gotta take a piss
I'm hollerin' at these hoes that got boyfriends
Who gives a fuck who they was
I'm always takin' someone else's girl like Cool J does
They probably don't be packin' anyways, do they Fuzz?
We walked up, stomped they asses and blew they buzz
Mics get sandblasted
Stab your abdomen with a hand crafted pocketknife and spill your antacid
Sprayed your motherfuckin' crib up when I ran past it
Fuckin' felon, headed to hell in a handbasket
Talkin' shit will get you, your girl and your man blasted
Kidnapped and slapped in a van wrapped in Saran plastic
Get your damn ass kicked, by these fantastic
Furious four motherfuckers
Flashin' in front of your face without the Grand Masters

Slim Shady, ain't nobody iller than me

[Fuzz]
I run shit like an ass with legs
Massive lead to leave your cabbage red
Similar to your ass in a casket dead
Drastic spread of acid heads
Come to abort you like a bastard egg
That trash you said got you standin' on plastic legs
Ask the feds from past the edge
Rockin' the most classic threads
Flashin' bread, roll down the window
Bitch you got some fantastic legs, you can get 'til that ass get red
You can get 'til that ass get red
Bizarre you get him and him, Swift you get him and him
I'll get him and him, leave the other two for my nigga Eminem
Never writer's block, I block writers
My block's tighter, ante up and get your top fighters
Got fired for jumpin' the counter with a mop stick
Some bitch ran up screamin' GET THE COPS QUICK!
And got drop kicked, now she screamin' "Stop it..."
Got clips to stop shit, rock shit and grab this hot shit
Wherever you shop bitch, Fuzz Scooter '97 crop pick
Sick a-ya'll niggaz lookin' at me like I got tits
I shoot a rocket through your optic
You niggaz still don't know the top pick?
I got bricks, lose my foot in your ass
And have you shittin' socks bitch!
We rock shit, leave your fuckin' knot split
Grab the green from Al by showin' him hot grits
(No one...)

Ain't nobody iller than me

[Bizzare]
It's the Mr. Fuzzy from the 313
No one, no one is iller than me
It's Eminem and Swift from the 313
No one, no one is iller than me
It's Fuzz and Buzz-arre from the 313

You have now witnessed 4 ill emcees!
From the home of potholes and trash
We'll lyrically blast...

Backstabber

Artist: Eminem
Album: Infinite
Song: Backstabber
Typed by: i3omb1st@aol.com

Police voice:
Attention all units, attention all units
We have an All Points Bulletin out on a man with green hair
I repeat, we have an APB on a man with green hair
He's armed with a knife, I repeat, he's armed with a knife
Proceed with caution, watch your back fella's
He could be coming at your girlfriend next

Verse 1:
There's a joker on the loose from the psychiatric ward
His face is up on the bulletin board with a reward
He'll stab you with a sword don't be fooled by his charm
He's probably armed with intent to do bodily harm
Ring the alarm, look for a man with green hair
Check at your girl's house, he was last seen there
He's has a mean stare but usually crack's jokes
Good luck on your mission and guard your backs folks

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 2:
We got the walkie-talkies to keep us all informed
Suited up head to toe in detective uniforms
Our unit storms in, we split the ghetto in sectors
Locking down every block and put up metal detectors
Protectors and be sure that you stand close
Watch each others backs and guard your command post
And most of all be advised that he's wise
He could be disguised as one of your very own guys

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 3:
I'm on a solo mission to find him personally
To settle the score and beat then him mercifully
For what he first did to me
It's sure to be the last
Following footprints with a magnifying glass
To drag his lying ass back to his padded cell
I'm mad as hell, on the trail of the tattle tail
I heard a yell the voice sounded familiar
"Give me your girlfriend or I'm gonna kill ya"

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 4:
I followed the voice that led down a flight of steps
Sneezing at dust, and swinging at the spider-webs
Inside the depths of his basement
I taste lint in my mouth, then the lights in the place… went!
I saw my life flash in front of my eyes
I felt a butcher knife slash at one of my thighs
None of my guys knew where I'm at I was doomed
Then I remembered the flashlight in my costume

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Verse 5:
Dealing with backstabber's there was one thing I learned
They're only powerful when you got your back turned
I yearned for the day that we finally met again
So I can give him a taste of his own medicine
He shed his skin, then he promised to come clean
I took his butcher knife and jabbed it into his spleen
Cut him at the seam then dragged the fella home
Beating him over the head with the telephone

Police voice:
Attention all cars, attention all cars
Unit 313 has apprehended the suspect
He's going back to the crazy home, I repeat
He's going back to the crazy home, how about that?

Chorus:
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!
I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a best friend then
Why I oughtta
Stay away from him he ain't no good!

Cleanin Out My Closet

Artist: Eminem
Album: The Eminem Show
Song: Cleanin Out My Closet
Typed by: dj.flash@pobox.com {with help from liner notes}

[Intro]
Where's my snare?
I have no snare in my headphones - there you go
Yeah.. yo, yo

[Eminem]
Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have; I've been protested and demonstrated against
Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times
Sick as the mind of the motherfuckin kid that's behind
all this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's explodin
Tempers flarin from parents just blow 'em off and keep goin
Not takin nothin from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathin
Keep kickin ass in the mornin and takin names in the evenin
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?
I'ma make you look so ridiculous now

[Chorus: Eminem]
I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet (one more time)
I said I'm sorry momma!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to make you cry; but tonight
I'm cleanin out my closet

[Eminem]
Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet
and I don't know if no one knows it
So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '73
before I ever had a multi-platinum sellin CD
I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch
cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don't on second thought I just fuckin wished he would die
I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leavin her side
Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake
I maybe made some mistakes
but I'm only human, but I'm man enough to face them today
What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
Cuz I'da killed him; shit I woulda shot Kim and them both
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin
But put yourself in my position; just try to envision
witnessin your momma poppin prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin that someone's always goin throuh her purse and shit's missin
Goin through public housin systems, victim of Munchausen's Syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?
But guess what? You're gettin older now and it's cold when your lonely
And Nathan's growin up so quick he's gonna know that your phony
And Hailie's gettin so big now; you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her - she won't even be at your funeral!
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Bitch do your song - keep tellin yourself that you was a mom!
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish bitch; I hope you fuckin burn in hell for this shit
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well guess what, I +AM+ dead - dead to you as can be!

[Chorus] - repeat 2X

Square Dance

Artist: Eminem
Album: The Eminem Show
Song: Square Dance
Typed by: dj.flash@pobox.com {with help from liner notes}

[Eminem]
People! (People!) It feels so good to be back (back)

{*Eminem vocally scratching these lines*}
Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the new
and improved, you know who..
chk-who, chka-er-chk-er-chk-er-chk

[Eminem]
Never been the type to bend or budge
The wrong button to push, no friend of Bush
I'm the center piece, you're a Maltese
I'm a pitbull off his leash, all this peace talk can cease
All these people I had to leave in limbo
I'm back now, I've come to release this info
I'll be brief and let me just keep shit simple
+Cani-bitch+ don't want no beef with Slim
Nooooooo! Not even on my radar
So won't you please jump off my dick, lay off and stay off
And follow me as I put these crayons to chaos
from séance to séance, aw-er-aw-er-aw-eh-a

[Chorus 2X: Eminem]
C'mon now, let's all get on down
Let's do-si-do now, we gon
have a good ol' time
Don't be scurred, cause thurr ain't nothin to worry 'bout
Let your hurr down (and square dance with me)

[Eminem]
Let your hair down to the track, yeah kick on back (boo!)
The Boogiemonster of rap, yeah the man's back
with a plan to ambush this Bush administration
Mush the Senate's face in, push this generation
of kids to stand and fight for the right to say somethin
you might not like, this white hot light
that I'm under, no wonder I look so sunburned
Oh no I won't leave no stone unturned
Oh no I won't leave, won't go nowhere
Do-si-do, oh-yo-ho, hello there
Oh yeah, don't think I won't go there
Go to Beirut and do a show there
Yeah you laugh till your motherfuckin ass gets drafted
While you're at band camp thinkin the crap can't happen
'Til you fuck around, get an anthrax napkin
Inside a package wrapped in Saran Wrap wrappin
Open the plastic and then you stand back gaspin
Fuckin assassins, hijackin Amtraks, crashin
All this terror, America demands action
Next thing you know, you've got Uncle Sam's ass askin
to join the Army or what you'll do for their Navy
You just a baby, gettin recruited at eighteen
You're on a plane now, eatin their food and their baked beans
I'm twenty-eight, they gon
take you 'fore they take me
Crazy insane, or insane crazy?
When I say Hussein, you say Shady
My views ain't changed, still inhumane, wait
Arraigned two days late, the date's today, hang me!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Nothin moves me more than a groove that soothes me
Nothin soothes me more than a groove that boosts me
Nothin boosts me more, or suits me beautifully
There's nothin you can do to me, stab me shoot me
Psychotic hypnotic product, I got it the antibiotic
Ain't nobody hotter and so on and yada yada
God I talk a lotta hum-de-lay-de-la-la
Oochie walla-walla, um-di-da-dah da-dah but you gotta gotta
keep movin, there's more music to make
Keep makin new shit, produce hits to break
the monotony, what's gotten into me?
Drugs, rock, and Hennessey, thug like I'm 'Pac on my enemies
On your knees, got you under siege
Somebody you would give a lung to be
Hun-ga-ry, like a fuckin younger me
Fuck the fee, I can get you jumped for free
Yeah buddy, laugh it's funny, I have the money
to have you killed by somebody who has nothing
I'm past bluffing, pass the K-Y
Let's get ready for some intense, serious ass fucking!

[Chorus]

[Outro]
Dr. Dre, wants to square dance with me
Nasty Nas, wants to square dance with me
X to the Z, wants to square dance with me
Busta Rhymes, wants to square dance with me
+Cani-bitch+, won't square dance with me
+Cani-bitch+, won't square dance with me
+Canada-bis+, don't want no parts of me
Dirty Dozen, wants to square dance with you
Weeeeeeeeeeee-hahh!! Woo!

Crazy In Love

Album: Encore
Song: Crazy In Love

I tell myself that I was doin' all right
There's nothin' left to do tonight
But go crazy on you
Crazy on you
Let me go crazy, crazy on you, ohhh

Can't you see what you do to me baby,
You make me crazy, you make me act like a maniac
I'm like a lunatic, you make me sick
You're truly the only one who can do this to me
You just make me get so crazy
I go schizo, I get so insane I just go schizophrenic
One minute I wanna slit your throat the next I wanna sex
You make me crazy
The way we act like two maniacs in the sack
We fuck like two jack rabbits and maybe that's a bad habit
Cause the next day we right back at it
In the same exact pattern
What the fuck is the matter with us
We can't figure out if it's lust
Or if it's love which that is attractin us to eachother
They say that every man grows up to marry his own mother
Which would explain why you're such a motherfuckin bitch
But I stay and still stick it out with you
Even though I just hit you today but you deserved it
You hit me first and provoked me to choke you
Just cause I came home late last night
Crawled in bed and I woke you
But if there's one thing about you that I admire
It's baby, because you stay with me
Maybe cause you're as crazy as I am
Cause when I look at you
I can see an angel in your eyes but if I look deeper inside
I see a freakish little side, like a devil in disguise
You're always full of surprises
Always pullin devices out your personal vibrators and dildos
You've fucked yourself so much you barely feel those anymore
You're only 24 but you're plenty more mature
Then those other little ho's who just act like little girls
Like they're in middle school still you're crazy, sexy, cool
Chillin' you play your position you never step out of line
Even though I stay in your buisness
You've always kept out of mine
I wonder what's on your mind
Sometimes they say love is blind
Maybe that's why the first time I dotted your eye
You ain't see the sign
Or maybe you did maybe you like me in charge
baby cause we're crazy in love....

I go crazy on you
Crazy on you
Let me go crazy, crazy on you, ohhh

You are the ink to my paper
What my pen is to my my pad
The moral, the very fiber
The whole substance to my rap
You are my reason for being
The meaning of my existance
If it wasn't for you I would never be able to spit this
As intense as I do, and the irony
Is you rely on me as much
As I rely on you to inspire me like you do
You provide me the lighter fluid to fuel in my fire
You're my entire supply of gas, the match and igniter
The only way that I'm able to stay so stable
Is you're the legs to my table,
If you were to break I'd fall on my face
But I'm always gonna make you feel
I don't need you as much as I really need you
So you don't use it to your advantage
But you're essential to me
You're the air I breathe
I believe if you ever leave me
I'd probaly have no reason to be
You are the Kim to my Marshall
You're the Slim to my Shady
The Dre to my Eminem
The Alaina to my Hailie
You are the word that I'm lookin for
When I'm tryin to describe how I feel inside
And the right one just won't come to my mind
You're like the pillow that props me up
The beam that supports me
The bitch who never took half
The wife who never divorced me
You're like the root to my evil
You let my devil come out me
You let me beat the shit out you before you beat the shit out me
And no matter how much too much is never enough
Baby cause we're crazy in love...

I go crazy on you
Crazy on you
Let me go crazy, crazy on you, ohhh

8 Mile

Album: 8 Mile
Artist: Eminem
Song: 8 Mile

Sometimes I just feel like - quittin, I still might
why do I put up this fight? why do I still write?
sometimes its hard enough just dealing with real life
sometimes I wanna jump on stage and just kill mics
and show these people what my level of skills like
but I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life
something ain't right, hit the break lights
facing this stage fright, drawing a blank like
"uhh da da da duhh it ain't my fault
cry-ing eye balls, my inside crawl"
And I clam up I just slam shut, I just can't do it
my whole manhoods just been stripped
I have just been evict so I must in get
hope to bust in, split, man fuck this shit
yo- I'm going the fuck home
world on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 Mile Road

(Chorus)
I'm a man, Ima make a new plan
time for me to just stand up, and travel new land
time for me to just take matters in to my own hands
once on move on from these track, I'll never look back (8 Mile Road)
and I'm gone, and I know right where I'm going
sorry mama I'm grown I must travel alone
ain't gonna follow no footsteps, I'm making my own
only way I know how to escape from this 8 Mile Road

Walking these train tracks, trying to regain back
the spirit I had 'fore I go back to the same crap
to the same plant, in the same pants
trying to chase rap, gotta move A-SAP
get a new plan, mamas got a new man
poor little baby sister, she don't understand
sits in front of the TV, buries her nose in the pad
and just colors till the crayon gets dull in her hand
while she colors her big brother and mother and dad
ain't no telling what really goes on in her little head
wish I could be the daddy that niether one of us had
but I keep running from something I never wanted so bad
sometimes I get upset, cause I ain't blew up yet
it's like I grew but I ain't grown these two nuts yet
don't gotta rep my step, don't got enough pep
the pressures too much man Im just trying to do what's best
and I try, sit alone and cry, yo I'm on telling god
not a moment goes by, that I don't prey to the sky
please I'm beggin you god, please don't let me be pigeon holding no regular job
yo I hope you can hear me homey, wherever you are
yo I'm telling you dawg, I bailing this trailor tomarrow
tell my mother I love her and kiss baby sister goodbye
say "whenever you need me baby I'm never 2 far"
but yo I got to get out there, the only way I know
And I'ma be back for you the second that I blow
on everything I own I'll make it on my own
off to work I go, back to this 8 Mile Road

(Chorus)

You got to live it to feel it, you didn't you wouldn't get it
don't see what the big deal is...

Criminal

Artist: Eminem
Album: The Marshall Mathers LP
Song: Criminal
Typed by: drunken_monkey72@hotmail.com, dj.flash@pobox.com

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet {*dog whines*}
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut {*tape unrolls*}
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

(Chorus 2X)

The Kids

Artist: Eminem
Album: The Marshall Mathers LP (Clean Version)
Song: The Kids *
Typed by: SwizzRULER@aol.com, dj.flash@pobox.com

* replaced "Kim" on the CLEAN VERSION of the album;
if you can't find a copy of the album try NAPSTER.com or Wal*Mart

[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman)
And everyone should get along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Children quiet down please
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good luck Mr. Shady

[Eminem]
Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you

Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)

See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[Eminem]
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you

Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)

See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right)
And there's really nothin else to say (but umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[Eminem]
And last but not least, one of the most humungous
problems among young people today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you

Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)

See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
So kids say no to drugs (say no)
So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do)
And there's really nothin else to say (that's right)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman)
Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)

Business

Artist: Eminem f/ Dr. Dre
Album: The Eminem Show
Song: Business
Typed by: dj.flash@pobox.com {with help from liner notes}

[Dr. Dre] Marshall! Sounds like an S.O.S.
[Mathers] Holy wack unlyrical lyrics Andre, you're fuckin right!!
[Dr. Dre] To the Rapmobile - let's go!

(Marshall! Marshall!)

[Eminem]
Bitches and gentlemen! It's SHOWTIME!
Hurry hurry, step right up!
Introducin the star of our show.. his name is..
(Marshall!)
You wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now
So without further adieux, I bring to you
(Marshall!)

[Eminem]
You bout to witness, hip-hop in its most purest
more rawest form, flow almost flawless
Most hardest, most honest known artist
Chip off the old block, but oh Doc is BACK
Looks like Batman brought his own Robin
Oh God, Saddam's got his own Laden
With his own private plane, his own pilot
Set to blow college dorm rooms doors off the hinges
oranges, peach, pears, plums, syringes
(*chainsaw sound*} VROOM VROOM! Yeah, here I come
I'm inches, away from you, dear fear none
Hip-Hop is in a state of nine-one-one so..

[Chorus 2X: Eminem]
Let's get down to business
I don't got no time to play around, what is this?
Must be a circus in town, let's shut the shit down
on these clowns; can I get a witness? (HELL YEAH!)

[Eminem]
Quick gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles
Gee wilikers Dre, "Holy bat syllables!"
Look at all the bullshit that goes on in Gotham
when I'm gone, time to get rid of these rap criminals
So skip to your lou while I do what I do best
You ain't even impressed no more; you're used to it
Flows too wet, nobody close to it
Nobody says it but still everybody knows the shit
The most hated on out of all those who say they get hated on
in eighty songs and exaggerate it all so much
they make it all up, there's no such thing
Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans
It just means so much more to so much more
people when you're rappin and you know what for
The show must go on; so I'd like to welcome y'all
to Marshall and Andre's car-ni-val, c'mon! Now

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
It's just like old times, the Dynamic Duo
Two old friends, why panic? You already know
who's fully capable, the two caped heroes
Dial straight down the center, eight-zero-zero
You can even call collect, the most feared duet
since me and Elton, played career Russian Roulette
And never even see me blink or get to bustin a sweat
People steppin over people just to rush to the set
just to get to see an MC who breathes so freely
Ease over these beats and be so breezy
Jesus how can shit be so easy?
How can one Chandra be so Levy?
Turn on these beats, MC's don't see me
Believe me; BET and MTV
are gonna grieve when we leave dog, fo' sheezy
Can't leave rap alone, the game needs me
'til we grow beards, get weird and disappear
into the mountains - nothin but clowns down here
But we, ain't fuckin around round here
Yo Dre (whattup?) Can I get hell..? (HELL YEAH!) Now

[Chorus]

[Outro]
So there you have it folks (Marshall!) has come to save the day
Back with his friend Andre, here to remind you that bullshit does not pay
Because (Marshall!) and Andre are here to stay
and never go away, until our dying day
Until we're old and grey (Marshall!)
So until next time friends, same blonde hair, same rap channel
Good night everyone, thank you for coming
Your host for the evening (Marshall!)
Oh! Heh

Just the Two of Us

Artist: Eminem
Album: Slim Shady EP
Song: Just the Two of Us
Typed by: dj.flash@pobox.com

Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)
I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?
Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?
Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee
Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty
Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water
Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway
we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..
One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)
There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]
Just me and you baby
is all we need in this world
Just me and you
Your da-da will always be there for you
Your da-da's always gonna love you
Remember that
If you ever need me I will always be here for you
If you ever need anything, just ASK
Da-da will be right there
Your da-da loves you
I love you baby